Finding Our Callings

Excuse the lack of posts these past couple months, the Askham family has been "enjoying" several changes that have come our way recently!

After driving a 15 year-old-plus car as our ONLY car for about 5 months,  and saving and budgeting every penny carefully, Derek and I were finally able to move up in car!

For me, a 2004 Suzuki Aerio

And for Derek, a sporty little 2001 Mercury Cougar

This has been such a huge blessing for us. For my student teaching, I have to drive about 70 miles a day, so it is awesome to have a reliable car that I feel safe in during my commute. And for Derek, he finally has some wheels that are ALMOST as cool as he is :) With our new car purchases, we had to say goodbye to an old friend, my blue Pontiac Sunfire. My Dad was kind enough to sell it on Craigslist for us after we left the area, and it went to a good home! All in all, we came in under budget and we are both really proud of ourselves for the long hours we worked to get here!



This semester has already proved to be a busy one, as both Derek and I work to tie any loose ends on our degrees. Currently I am student teaching in a small middle school about an hour away from the University. It has been a challenge in many respects, but ironically, teaching has been the EASIEST part. The most stressful aspect has really been building relationships with so many people that are going to be the gatekeepers to my career! Sometimes I feel inadequate, but I am trying to remember I am just beginning a career. I have plenty of time to improve!

Derek still has a little over a year left on his degree, but he is also working hard on securing an internship for the Summer. In so doing, he keeps pretty busy studying, working on resumes, attending school, and also being our soul breadwinner for the semester. He is just rockin' it! Typically, we wake up around 6 am, we leave for school and work, we get home between 5 or 6, we eat, Derek goes to meetings or studies and I work on lesson plans, and by the time 9:30 rolls around, we head to bed. It seems like an impossible life, but Derek and I have both felt energetic and motivated, sustained by power we know must be from God.




Adding to our fun changes has been my recent call to be second counselor in our ward's Relief Society! I was really shocked (I even asked the new RS president when I first met her if she was sure she meant ME. She said she was! haha) but now that it is starting to sink in a little, I feel great peace in knowing that "Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." The ladies I get to work with are just SO awesome. We are still working to get things running smoothly, but I have no doubt that we will be able to unify and be a great power for good in our ward and community. 


As I have reflected on all of these changes as well as my emotions, I was surprised to find that I feel more motivated, enthusiastic, and energetic than before. While there are so many wonderful things going on that I feel I can attribute this too, "finding my calling" kept coming to mind. Though I know there will be stressful days ahead, I feel that we come alive when we are doing what God has called us to do. Whether its working hard with a spouse to get in control of finances, educating ourselves, serving in our church or community capacities, or following a lifetime's worth of promptings as we start new careers, I believe God blesses us for those efforts. He says, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” While often times we hear this scripture and think to "come to Him" through prayer and sacrifice, I am finding that we "come to Him" much faster on our feet serving than we do on our knees (which is good because if I get down on my knees to say a prayer I will probably fall asleep!). 

I am really excited to be able to see these blessings in my life and I am thrilled to serve others and build some character :)

In conclusion, I thought I would share a little message! Over a year ago, I had a professor tell us to write little notes to ourselves in the future. I don't actually remember too much about writing it, but I remember I wanted it to be something encouraging to read when I started student teaching. This week, I got my little letter in the mail and it made me so happy! Although I directed it to myself at the time, I feel it is something that can apply to all of us in some respect. I am posting a small excerpt below...So read, and enjoy!

        "...The best example of teaching I will ever have is Christ. His love, patience, and encouragement is the way to help others. You may be working furiously on your edTPA right now, but remember there is always more to life than paperwork. Having the example is the key! 
        There is a deeper purpose than a grade, a certification, or a job. The greatest thing I will ever do in life will be my opportunity to bring beautiful children into this world with my husband. Second to that only, is to help raise other children. With the latter, my goal goes beyond content or standards or state testing. My goal is to bring light and love into the world. Never be afraid to show love. Even if some are failing in content, through love they will know that they are not failing this life. Love, patience, and encouragement always.
         You are blessed more than you know....You can do anything. So go and TEACH!"

Act Upon This Land as for Years

It has been a rough go health-wise (I feel like this is always the story....) for the past few weeks. My doctor has restricted a lot from my diet in an effort to help, but in general my mood has been pretty sour. I feel sad, lethargic, and up until the past few days, really depressed. I feel a lot more sick when I am depressed. Haven't eaten anything yet today but my stomach is still giving me grief. Student teaching is starting. And at one of the most physically challenging times in my life, I am preparing to spend a majority of my time and effort away from my sweet husband. So the refiner's fire is hitting me pretty hard this week. I don't know how I will possibly do it, and I am dreaming of happier times ahead, away from Pullman-- a place I have associated with feeling "stuck". I don't think I have ever experienced a stronger feeling of negativity attached to any one place before, but for some reason my emotions have convinced the rest of me that this is a place I loathe. I feel like a pre-teen that still has training wheels on my bike, lonesomely circling around a cul-de-sac until dinner time. (so in other words, I guess I feel like a loser?)

I want desperately to have people to talk to, but most days I am not feeling too good. And even when I do feel good, it seems every activity I want to go to has food everywhere (and I am trying to put on a brave face but it is really hard not to eat 90% of what you guys eat!). I have been extremely grateful for all the loving ward members who have stopped by just to say hello. I am trying to stay positive. Even though I am a lot weaker than I was a few months ago, the gym is my solace and it helps straighten everything out in my mind. I am remembering the words spoken by almost every seminary teacher ever-- "The scriptures say 'and it came to pass' not 'and it came to stay', so keep going!" 

*refreshing breath in* *refreshing breath out*

Anyways, that is my place today. An article I read in the Ensign (and LDS magazine geared towards adults) keeps coming to mind, so I figured I would share the love:

"In the Spring of 1831, the [early Latter Day] Saints began to gather to Kirtland, Ohio. A member...agreed to allow a group from Colesville, New York, to stay on his from in Thompson, a short distance from Kirtland." Joseph Smith, the prophet and leader of the church wrote the following revelation from God:

"And I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise, and command them to go hence.... And the hour and the day is not given unto them [when I shall provide for them otherwise], wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good" Doctrine and Covenants 51:16-17

So, like the children of Israel who wandered for 40 years, and the early Saints on the Copley farm, we too know that where we are now (geographically, emotionally, and spiritually) is not our final destination. But God doesn't say, don't worry about your choices and your actions because this is only a little bit of your life, he says "go and do something today!"


We are counseled to act upon this land as for years. Live our lives and conduct our homes in a state of permanence. Be open to the Lord's call when he asks you to move and change, but be just as open when he asks you to stay. For Derek and I this means trying harder to meet new people and make friends (this has been our biggest challenge in our ward here), serve in callings diligently, find pleasure in the work we do, find activities that we enjoy in Pullman instead of thinking of all the activities we WISH we could do.

The early Saints only ended up living on the Copley farm for very long. Shortly after getting all settled, Copley broke his promise, sending the Saints to Missouri. But "they did their best while they lived in that farmer's field, and the Lord blessed them for it." Pullman isn't our forever, but our choices here dictate the blessings we will receive throughout our lives. Praying for lots of peace and physical strength!

Sunburst Mirror DIY

The space above my TV has been longing for SOMETHING for months now. That big blank wall has just been staring me down. Because my TV is a giant rectangle, the last thing I needed was another rectangle of art--- To pinterest I went!

I quickly discovered what I had been needing all my life long was in fact a sunburst mirror. I mean, how in the heck can you say no to this:

$135 from Samjen Arts' Etsy shop

Or this:

$199 from Bliss Home and Design

Or this?!:

$34 +shipping from Target

The Target one by far was the most affordable, but all of the mirrors were about 2ft in diameter (hello, my TV is 50 inches, 2 feet above that looks like NOTHIN.

So the pinterest search continued and I found some great DIYs. I got some great ideas from Stephanie Lynn and House of Fifty that you should check out. Awesome. After some more looking though, I really found a way to blend these and other DIY mirrors into something that was absolutely what I wanted. So without further ado, My Sunburst Mirror DIY!

Yes, we were watching TV and Yes those are our bikes. BUT IT LOOKS GOOD RIGHT?!
Don't worry, more pics to come.

All my shopping was done at walmart and I got everything for $22.33. Roll with me here.

For about $14, I got this mainstays 5pc mirror set.
Mirrors range from 8-11 inches. So for $14, I got 5 little mirrors waiting to be born into lovely sunbursts.

For 97 cents I got a pack of 100 of these BBQ skewers. They may seem small (12 in long) but when we glue them to the mirror, it is going to add a full 24 inches to the diameter, without even adding the mirror into that measurement, its bigger than the ones from the websites above. 

And for 3.97 I got this gold spray paint. I have never bought spray paint before so I didn't know what was good. For future reference: THIS WAS GOOD. It was all I could do not to spray paint everything I own gold.

So that is our shopping list. I already had my hot glue gun and tape at home. Woohoo! I will add that when I bought these three things at walmart the guy was like "So what are you going to do with all of this?" and I tried to explain it to him. He said "interesting". Clearly did not get my vision. Well walmart guy, I will prove you wrong.

First, take out your mirrors. Notice it says "ready to hang?" Ohhh mainstays mirror set, you couldn't be further from being ready to hang.

Take out your mirror, grab some fat tape (all I had was packing tape. C'est la vie.) And go across your mirror with the tape, pushing down in the corners.

Repeat that a bajillion times. I did a pattern like I was cutting a pie. You can see in this photo I still have some more tape to do, but you get the picture.

Once it's all taped up. Grab a knife and slice around the edge of the mirror. 

Once you have cut the tape, pull it all off so the frame of the mirror is exposed, but the mirror itself is still taped up. Essentially we are just taping off the mirror here, but it's a trick that worked for me.

Grab your sticks and your mirror, and spray paint them!

Once dry, peel off that tape. It won't be perfect (as shown), but just grab your knife again and scratch off the paint that got stuck. 

Once the mirror is taken care of, flip it around and start gluing! Just like with the tape, we are going to place our sticks across from each other. One DIY-er said they layered on the glue, after doing a few of them, I can tell you now that that isn't the best for the hot glue. It doesn't need a crazy amount, just a dollop. 

I actually would put the glue down and let it cool a bit before I stuck them on there, otherwise I had to hold those sticks for a looooong time.

Here we are, about half way!

I had to take a sneak peek!

And here all the sticks are glued. You could probably fit some more in there if you want an even fuller look.

Even though there was already a hole in the back for hanging, I fashioned one out of photo frame wire. Much easier to hang up in my opinion!

TA DA! It is finished!

Usually my projects seem to look....homemade....but I can honestly say these have turned out looking WAY better than I ever expected. They have a nice clean look to them! My mirror ended up being 34 inches in diameter, and it really fills the space. I love it because it really does look very high end and expensive (and it was not!)

Local folks, if you are interested, I have made up all the mirrors and I am selling them for $10 bucks a piece. Cheaper than it would cost to do it yourself AND you help me get rid of all these sunbursts I have now ;) So let me know if you want one!

xoxoxo

Regrets From the Single Years

As my parents can attest, I have always been excited to get on to the next phase of life. I crave change and development, and I have always had the most difficulty accepting a LACK of change. Not only is it boring, but it makes me feel like I am not progressing. As I have tried to get better at it, I swing between wishing everything would change all of a sudden to wishing nothing would ever change and Derek and I could perpetually live as newlyweds forever and ever (which isn't that healthy either...I am aware of this).

Lest my eagerness seems without consequences, I present to you my regrets from the single years!

1. Girly Girly Girly. There is nothing like cozying up in a nice bright pink flower comforter. No joke. One of my biggest regrets of pre-married life was that I didn't make every piece of my decor just absolutely and undoubtedly feminine. And even though Derek insists he would be fine with it if I went femi-crazy on our decor, I know that A. His guy friends would make fun of him for it when they came over (because I guess having a boring bachelor pad and no one to share your bed with at night is more fun?!) or B. a constant feeling of guilt that I have surrounded my manly man with the pinkest of hues.

So single ladies, do me a favor, and go buy this bed spread:

Get everything from this Walmart ad:

And bask in the glory of your girly-a-fied space.

2. Being More Social. While I have always been a social butterfly, there were certainly people I avoided because I felt weird starting conversations if I didn't know them. It has been really hard for Derek and I to make any friends here, so I am really wishing I would have spent more of my time with others when I really had the chance. Here's to hoping that the next place we move to will be more friendly. But in the mean time, singles: go hang out and just be goofy. Meet new people and have fun.

3. Find something you love and embrace it completely, even if you suck. It wasn't until I got to college that I found that I actually loved fitness. And while sometimes I am more in-shape than others (like right now I am pretty much just in-shape for a doughnut competition) I still love the challenge and have fun running, doing stadium stairs, yoga, and hiking. Growing up I had seen people be so good sports, I felt like there was no way I could ever be good at something like that, so I never even tried. The same applies to art, writing, cooking, and getting an education. Try EVERYTHING. You may hate a lot of it, you may be bad at a lot of it, but you may also be surprised with how alive it makes you feel!

My First Marathon!

Inferno Challenge (a really hard workout...)

Junior Year: 180+ pages of writing

100% On my history final!

Derek and I painted this!

And I painted this!

I cooked my first turkey!!!

I graduated college...WITH HONORS! :D

You may be surprised where all this takes you...

Enjoy the life you are living! Go out and have fun! xoxo

Marriages are Permanent and Precious

Firstly, I hope you guys enjoy our recent blogger face-lift! I think this one will be better for mobile users, but let us know :)

I've been thinking a lot about marriage recently, given our recent anniversary as well as several recent couples' engagements. How strange is it that many of us (particularly within the LDS church) make the most important decision of our earthly life (and entire eternity) before we can legally drink, purchase a hotel room without getting the third degree, or rent a car without that huge fee.

Perhaps that juxtaposition comes from the fact that we are trying to take God's path in an a society touting an ever-extending period of adolescence. Yet it also suggests that God's plan was never for marriage to be the end-all-be-all of life on earth. In fact, marriage is the beginning. Marriage is the tree we plant that will bring forth all other experiences: careers, children, education, travel, and all the trials in between. While marriage and family life remains the highest of God's commandments and callings, it is the foundation of almost everything we will do in our lives.

How important it is, then, to choose a partner who will help us bring about good, help us experience joy, and help us experience completeness; being ever mindful that Satan has his counterfeit to each of these emotions. Although "all you need is love" is a cheery song to sing in the depths of newlywed poverty, it is always important to understand that the healthiest of marriages will always require more than love and affection. Humility, hard-work, mutual understanding, and a spiritual foundation keep marriages progressing.

Marriage should always be viewed as "permanent and precious". The greatest joys in this life are to be experienced hand-in-hand with another.

What We Learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other in 365 Days

People always say that "the first year is the hardest"....I don't think there is any possible way that could actually be true, because we basically skipped effortlessly through each month of marriage. Some of our hardest moments were more about us getting used to each other emotionally, but we are both pretty forgiving people, and luckily neither of us has the energy or interest to hold any sort of grudge...so those moments were few and far between, especially after the second or third month. As a matter of fact, after celebrating our anniversary this weekend, I got to thinking "could I have learned anything in these last 12 months?"

After some reflection here are our lists of things we have learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other.

Derek's List:
1. Anytime is chocolate time

2. Arianne has an eye for interior design and crafting

3. I've seen a much greater measure of Arianne's character. Arianne is consistently sacrificing her needs for others and always is looking to help others.

4. Foot rubs are almost next to chocolate in basic needs.

5. Life is not just to be enjoyed but to be shared with others.

6. My wife is an amazing cook.

7. Arianne is quickly forgiving.

8. An ounce of prevention in communication saves a pound of hurt

9. When we take time to budget finances, life is so much less stressful.

10. Change your tax status early.

11. A hug and a kiss can go a long way after a rough day.


Arianne's List (Naturally mine is much more loquacious. Roll with me here.):
1. Relying on the Lord's blessings is much easier than relying on your own strength and intelligence.

2. The Lord blesses us for the sacrifices we make.

3. Waking up on a Saturday morning next to my sweetheart will forever be the best thing on earth.

4. Derek is extremely thoughtful and introspective, while I am extremely spontaneous and busy. Sometimes it can be frustrating when we are both being stubborn, but when we let go a little and try to have thoughtful moments AND spontaneous moments, we both have a lot of fun.

5. Derek is the best person on the planet to go through anything with ever. Funny. Smart. Hardworking. Creative. This man is the bomb.

6. Derek is hardworking, grounded, and ambitious, while also being a big dreamer. I feel like it is so easy to get lost in that 9-5 ambition that we forget to dream about who we want to be, where we want to live, where we could visit, etc. With Derek, though, this mix is completely natural. He works hard for us all day but is never too exhausted to speculate on where life could take us.

7. Life is so much more fun when you allow yourself to believe that you are awesome!

8. Allow your spouse to pursue their ideas: I feel like I put the kibosh on a lot of Derek's ideas, and after a year of marriage I think that is one of my biggest regrets. Will I actually let him fill the basement of our future home with racks of servers? Probably not (sorry hunny), but I think it's important to let each other dream about things without crushing each other with reality. We have enough time for life to crush our dreams! hahah

9. Sometimes you just need a snuggle!

10. It is important to spend time alone: Personal development is just as important as an adult as it is when you are a teenager. As awesome as it is to spend 100% of your time with someone you love, it is equally important to devote some time to "center" yourself through spiritual study, prayer, and introspection....otherwise you don't have time to set goals or think about where you want to be in 5 or 10 years.


We've had so much fun this past year. Sending a huge thank you to all of our friends and family who made our wedding possible. We are grateful for your continued support throughout our marriage! Lots-a-love to you :)

Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice

It has been a couple weeks months since I last wrote. Despite my desire to keep a record of our life together, I just have had trouble making it a priority when I have so much going on! So here's a little update for you all!

The Sugar:
-Derek got a new job (in addition to his current job) as an IT manager for some condos here in Pullman. He is such a hard worker and is looking forward to his first day!

-Derek and I paid off our first student loan: 4,371.46 dollars! We are so excited! We are doing the Dave Ramsey plan and we are loving it. Technically, the plan calls for us to pay off our smallest loan first, but we both felt very impressed that this was the one we needed to get rid of. Not only did it have the worst interest rate, it was our largest, and it was also the only one my Dad had cosigned on. I have some more ideas about the loan, but I figured I would save those for another post so we could all get on with our lives ;)

-Honor Cords, Caps, and Gowns OH MY! I graduate in 22 days! Hard to believe that in just 3 weeks I will be walking at my college graduation! Those years go by so fast. They weren't always fun but I did make an effort to work really hard. I have student teaching in the fall at a local middle school, and then I am all certified to begin teaching and substituting! I am graduating with a 3.68 Cum Laude honors, in addition to my Outstanding Senior Award from the history department and my Phi Beta Kappa honor cords. So weird to think this part of my life will soon be over (but at the same time I am so grateful it will be! It's can be really hard!!!)

-We have a nephew!!! Or more importantly, my wonderful sister Hillary and her husband Nick had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. On April 14, 2014, Daniel Pulsipher Steckler came in to the world at 7lbs 3oz, and 19 1/4 inches long. His mommy says that he is "very strong, alert, and loves to check out his surroundings wherever he goes." We are very excited to meet the little guy, but unfortunately we may not be able to for a little bit. For right now, we are enjoying looking at pictures of our sweet little baby.

The Spice:

-A little low on the Vitamin D. Always a rough world for me, particularly in the winter. I hate feeling agitated, tired and depressed, but when my Vit D is low, that's pretty much all I feel. I had a really bad week in early April, but I have been doing fairly well since I increased my Vit. D. dosage. So far I have only had one other rough spot. I hate thinking this is something I will live with for the rest of my life, but I am encouraged by the fact that soon I won't have to live in Pullman. Or Washington for that matter. I always enjoyed sunny days, but I have a greater appreciation for them now more than ever! My dream would be to move to southern Utah or Nevada to get some much needed sunshine. The summer here will do me good, but I am in need of sunshine 365 days of the year! :)

-Saying goodbye to an old friend. In March, we said farewell to our old friend, the Jeep. Derek had inherited a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee from his father. We had so many great memories in that car and it was so hard to say goodbye! Unfortunately, there were a lot of issues with the car and repairs to be made so it was smarter financially to sell it at a decent price to someone who thought it was worth all of that! Initially we were going to buy Derek a newer car almost immediately, but sharing a car wasn't at all as hard as we thought. We decided to put a majority of that money towards the loan and continue to save. We are planning on getting another car in July.

Everything Nice:

-Love my husband even more! Saturday is our 9 month anniversary! I can't believe this year is going by so quickly! We just have so much fun together. It was actually pretty exciting because these past few weeks we have made our first BIG decisions together. Selling the car, and paying off the loan. As fun as it is to reach my own goals, it is a million times more fun to work together with someone else I love so much. Making those decisions together has actually given me a lot more confidence to make more big decisions together over the years. Everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I don't think there is any way I could possibly agree with that. Derek and I have been blessed beyond belief and we just have a blast together! He is my everything!


Thanks for reading!