What We Learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other in 365 Days

People always say that "the first year is the hardest"....I don't think there is any possible way that could actually be true, because we basically skipped effortlessly through each month of marriage. Some of our hardest moments were more about us getting used to each other emotionally, but we are both pretty forgiving people, and luckily neither of us has the energy or interest to hold any sort of grudge...so those moments were few and far between, especially after the second or third month. As a matter of fact, after celebrating our anniversary this weekend, I got to thinking "could I have learned anything in these last 12 months?"

After some reflection here are our lists of things we have learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other.

Derek's List:
1. Anytime is chocolate time

2. Arianne has an eye for interior design and crafting

3. I've seen a much greater measure of Arianne's character. Arianne is consistently sacrificing her needs for others and always is looking to help others.

4. Foot rubs are almost next to chocolate in basic needs.

5. Life is not just to be enjoyed but to be shared with others.

6. My wife is an amazing cook.

7. Arianne is quickly forgiving.

8. An ounce of prevention in communication saves a pound of hurt

9. When we take time to budget finances, life is so much less stressful.

10. Change your tax status early.

11. A hug and a kiss can go a long way after a rough day.


Arianne's List (Naturally mine is much more loquacious. Roll with me here.):
1. Relying on the Lord's blessings is much easier than relying on your own strength and intelligence.

2. The Lord blesses us for the sacrifices we make.

3. Waking up on a Saturday morning next to my sweetheart will forever be the best thing on earth.

4. Derek is extremely thoughtful and introspective, while I am extremely spontaneous and busy. Sometimes it can be frustrating when we are both being stubborn, but when we let go a little and try to have thoughtful moments AND spontaneous moments, we both have a lot of fun.

5. Derek is the best person on the planet to go through anything with ever. Funny. Smart. Hardworking. Creative. This man is the bomb.

6. Derek is hardworking, grounded, and ambitious, while also being a big dreamer. I feel like it is so easy to get lost in that 9-5 ambition that we forget to dream about who we want to be, where we want to live, where we could visit, etc. With Derek, though, this mix is completely natural. He works hard for us all day but is never too exhausted to speculate on where life could take us.

7. Life is so much more fun when you allow yourself to believe that you are awesome!

8. Allow your spouse to pursue their ideas: I feel like I put the kibosh on a lot of Derek's ideas, and after a year of marriage I think that is one of my biggest regrets. Will I actually let him fill the basement of our future home with racks of servers? Probably not (sorry hunny), but I think it's important to let each other dream about things without crushing each other with reality. We have enough time for life to crush our dreams! hahah

9. Sometimes you just need a snuggle!

10. It is important to spend time alone: Personal development is just as important as an adult as it is when you are a teenager. As awesome as it is to spend 100% of your time with someone you love, it is equally important to devote some time to "center" yourself through spiritual study, prayer, and introspection....otherwise you don't have time to set goals or think about where you want to be in 5 or 10 years.


We've had so much fun this past year. Sending a huge thank you to all of our friends and family who made our wedding possible. We are grateful for your continued support throughout our marriage! Lots-a-love to you :)