Rethinking My Hobbies

What do you like to do?

Since high school, I have probably had about the same list of things I say or write down whenever forced... running, music, singing, and reading. Perhaps I am the only one who thinks this way, but that question usually elicits a dull moan from inside my heart. 

Just about a month ago, when I was most recently forced to write my recited list of hobbies, I thought sadly to myself, "I don't like to do anything anymore." Sure, running is great, but I don't do that as much as I have in the past...Or music is nice, but I have a hard time loving listening to music since my meningitis messed me up...I like to sing, but I find performing so stressful these days...and sitting there reading makes me feel like I am going to get bedsores. 

I went through about a week of this slump, thinking I was in some sort of crisis, and believing I had realized I am the least passionate person who has ever walked the earth. You know when your friend introduces you to someone new and you realize that you and this someone don't have anything in common, but THEN you have to sit there for hours pretending to like this person and you feel terrible by the time you finally leave?! Well THAT is how I felt about myself! I felt forced to like activities that I found tired, boring, or frustrating. It was a mess.

The slump continued until one morning when I decided to do some family history work. After plugging away at my family tree, I found I had been doing it for several hours without even noticing! At that moment, I realized that genealogy must be a hobby of mine, because I just LOVE to do it. As soon as I put that together, all of a sudden I thought of other things that give me that same forget-to-eat, never-want-to-stop feeling...

In addition to loving genealogy,

I love to:

COMPLETE DIY PROJECTS

DO CANNING

COOK

WORKOUT

LAUGH

LEARN

COMPLETE TEMPLE WORK

SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY

And much more....

This experience has reminded me of a few important things: first, who you are and what you enjoy can change; secondly, making time for my true hobbies makes me feel energized, not exhausted; lastly, this life is about discovering our talents and passions, not just clinging to ones we already have explored. 

So, my friends, what do YOU like to do?

Best of Friends

June is finally here! With the change of the month has come one big change of our own:

After a long LONG search, Derek and I accepted an internship at Pacific Northwest National Laboratories in Richland, Washington. For the past eight or so months, Derek has been dutifully searching for a Summer internship to complement his major in Management Information Systems. As a matter of fact, he was looking for so long that it seems pretty sad to try to boil it down into one paragraph! We looked at several companies, and Derek had a fair share of interviews, phone calls, and ended up with a few options still on the table at the end of April. While we had brief love affairs imagining our lives at these different companies, PNNL really felt right from the beginning. Those feelings were cemented when they made us a fantastic offer and we accepted later that week.

Since being here in the Tri-Cities, we have been reminded time and time again that this is EXACTLY where we need to be. Derek is learning so much about programming and working with "big data", and I am having so much fun watching him learn and be so excited about what he has been doing! He is making friends with those he works with, networking with nationally respected developers, gaining certifications for programming, and getting hands-on experience problem-solving and developing original content for a huge company. He has just come alive and is really soaking it all in! At a recent meeting they had with their mentor, Derek learned that about 280 people applied for the position from  over 90 different universities, and only 10 were selected. Derek is one of those 10! I am so so proud of him and his hard work, and I am glad he is finally getting the opportunities  I feel his hard work deserves.

I feel like a little bragging is in order here, because I know Derek won't do it! Prior to Derek's mission he had really struggled in school. His mom was in desperate need of a kidney and pancreas transplant in order to save her life, his brother was having troubles emotionally, and his dad was away from the home. During this period of extreme emotional and financial stress, Derek completed his two year mission, came back home and got back to work immediately. Since then, Derek has now brought up his GPA significantly and will graduate Cum Laude (way to go!) in December, will have IT and development experience working in several great companies, and will be fantastically suited to join the labor force with the support of his family (who is now reunited and healthy!). It is one thing to be good academically from day one, but it is quite another to make such a journey to academic success. He has worked SO hard!!!

In other news, our two year anniversary is coming up and I just can't believe it! July 19th will mark two years of marriage for us, and I have got to say, year two was even better than the first! Though we have always been close, I feel like we have really just become absolute best friends this past year. We have started to learn more about ourselves to help us work better together, and we just have fun every day! It really is just so much fun being together, laughing together, and preparing for our future together. I am so lucky to have such a kind and warm-hearted companion to go through eternity with. He is just the bomb! I feel like we have been together forever, and just can't imagine my life without him. I love that he takes me on all of his adventures and he lets me drag him along all of my spontaneous projects.

Life in the Tri-Cities has been so fun together! All of our dating and married lives we have lived in Pullman. While it has been great for some reasons, Pullman is seriously lacking in the "fun" department. We have grown so used to making our own fun (like walking through walmart or making a dessert together) that it's now really exciting to have so many shops, malls, parks, and more ALL AROUND US! Last night as we were driving to the grocery store, I accidentally had Derek take a wrong turn and we ended up passing the September 11th Memorial (a remnant of the twin towers) so I was pointing it out to him and he said "You Pulsipher girls always bloom where your planted...As soon as you get somewhere your all trying to find out the history and going on drives to see where roads connect and stuff." I guess I thought it was a normal thing to do (epecially when I don't have much else to do), but I know my mom and sister do the same thing too!

In addition, I have also been lucky enough to get a job as a teacher at Sylvan Learning Center, which has been great, AND I have had a lot of free time to take adventures to various places around the tri-cities. My favorite daily adventure I have had before work is to go to the temple grounds and read my scriptures. Before we left for the Summer, our Stake President in Pullman challenged our ward to read the Book Of Mormon in three months. Derek and I are both set on completing the challenge, and I have already had such a wonderful experience reading the Book of Mormon outside in the sunshine next to all the flowers at the temple. I feel really blessed to be able to take an hour out of my day for spiritual "me" time, which is something I have felt I haven't had the chance to do in a while.

I feel like the Book Of Mormon challenge couldn't have come at a better time, as recently there have been a lot of sad tragedies in the news that have touched my life. First there was the death of 16 year old Maylee Anderson, who passed away after succumbing to injuries sustained from a car accident on Memorial Day. While I never knew her, several facebook friends were familiar with the family and I began following her story earlier in the week. Then late that night I heard of the passing of sweet Natalie Barnard, who was serving as a missionary in Atlanta, Georgia when she was in a terrible car accident. Her family moved to Snoqualmie when I was in high school and I attended seminary with her older sister, and was familiar (and had many younger friends who were very close) with Natalie and her beaming personality. The following day, Elder L. Tom Perry passed away from cancer, which had very recently been diagnosed and progressed like "wildfire". I know for each one of these stories there is someone far closer than I was who are affected by them, but it has really struck a chord with my heart. I am grateful for the Book of Mormon that has really taught me the reality of those who come before us, as well as those who come after. I think it is very natural to be scared of the unknown that accompanies death, but I have recently been reminded of the simple words of a favorite hymn:

"O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise.
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home."

In order to make God's house our home, we need to acquaint ourselves with it. Allow ourselves to be comfortable in the temple and on its grounds. As I have attended the temple more regularly and made reading the scriptures and spending time there a habit, I have found that my soul can really relax and feel at peace there, and I love it! When we think of our lives in an eternal perspective, all of our little doubts simply do not matter. There are somethings we may never fully understand in this life, BUT what we do know is that (1) we have a Heavenly Father who loves us; (2) We were spirits who learned, loved, and socialized before we were born; (3) We jumped for joy at the opportunity to come to earth, gain bodies, and have mortal experiences; (4), When we leave mortality, we are welcomed by family and friends (some who we knew on earth and some we didn't) to a beautiful world or realm where we learn more about the gospel, teach and serve others; (5) We also know that we will be reunited with our loved ones, we will be resurrected, we will be judged by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and the righteous will then inherit all that God has. I find that when I focus on the Plan of Salvation, all these other little things don't seem to matter much. I am grateful for the testimony of these things that I have been given as I study the Book of Mormon and other aspects of Gospel Doctrine. 

Our time as a "stranger" or "guest" is in fact more descriptive of our earth life than our spiritual life. Our true home was never meant to be in this fallen world... We have a far greater destiny ahead!

Substitute Survival Guide

Since I last updated:

• I have completed my student teaching, received my degree and teaching certificate, suffered unemployment anxiety, and I am currently working as a substitute in one of the local school districts
• Derek has completed his semester with flying colors, started a new job as an intern at Schweitzer, and began his new semester at WSU
• We have celebrated another wonderful Christmas together, visited my family for a couple weeks after Christmas, pulled off a wonderful (and quick!) wedding for Derek's brother and sister-in-law, repainted several pieces of furniture :)

This past week has really been a blur, and in the midst of it all, I have officially started my work within a local school district as a substitute teacher! While I had already subbed in the middle school I was student teaching, subbing in all of these different schools and age groups has been a HUGE learning experience. 

When I walked into my first official sub job at an elementary school, I was feeling super confident. After all, I had already been subbing for a few weeks in other classrooms as an intern....little did I know the little version of heck that awaited me. Within about half an hour, I had lost all of my confidence. I was embarrassed that my kids were loud, that they were out of their seats, and that they were THROWING THINGS?! WTFRK!? Everything I knew about classroom management and relationship building in the classroom was out the window. When a fellow teacher stopped in during lunch to see how I was doing, we chatted for a bit and then she asked "So, how do you think it's going?"

 I remember thinking if I should answer this question dishonestly and say everything was going fine... but then I remembered what another teacher had told me "There is no room for pride as a new teacher." So after a little bit of silence I smiled and said "I just cannot get them to do ANYTHING! They won't stop talking, they won't sit down, they won't pay attention! I have no idea what to do!"

She laughed at me while I explained all of this and said "This is why I am too old to sub. You are young and have lots of energy, just hang in there."


So I hung right in there. Then I started to have a little fun. I looked at what I was doing as an experiment instead of a perfect science. I wrote down things that might help me in the future. And I complained on social media. Then, the day was done and I got to go home with a wad of money in my pocket (or my bank account?).

After a few days of this I have already learned some awesome things that have enabled me to have a good time. Just in case any of you are interested, I thought I would list them here:

1. Accept that a classroom with a substitute will not be as productive as a normal class day. That very first 5th grade math class I walked into (the one I described above as being a hellish nightmare) was set up for failure from the very beginning, because I pushed for and expected productivity, when I should have promoted a smooth and organized class. I needed to accept that the lesson our teacher had planned was just too long, and the kids too rowdy to get through. Instead of rushing the kids and causing all sorts of complains (and rebellion!), I should have paid attention to the natural pace of the class. 
2. Bring Pencils. The most frequent request I have in almost every class so far is for a pencil. In my own class, I felt like my 13 year olds needed to be self-sufficient in that respect, and I brought that attitude with me as a sub. BIG MISTAKE. These kids don't know me, and are looking to take advantage of any "down" time I give them. If I ask them to ask their peers to borrow a pencil, it will take ten minutes and a LOT of heartache. Now, I have awesome NEON pencils ready, enough for a whole classroom to borrow if need be. It eliminates the time it takes for students to get situated, removes their excuse that they can't do their work, and the neon color makes them easy to spot so I can get them back at the end of the class.
3. For grades K-5, have a simple reward. Every kid on earth wants to be bribed to do a simple something. In a normal teaching environment, if all else fails, you can bribe not with a physical reward, but with something really sappy: respect. As in, "I've noticed that this assignment isn't super interesting to you, but I believe it will help you in the future. Will you do it? For me?" And guess what, that sappy stuff almost always works. BUT as a sub? Not a chance. They don't know me, and some of them don't care to. So instead I have bought a huge pack of stickers. Kids who are on task get a sticker. Suddenly, every kid is on task! Paying $3 for 2000 stickers is certainly worth it to keep my sanity. 
4. Get to know the SECRETARY. The secretary is your gateway to money and friendship. If she hears that someone is sick, she will be the one that calls! So I have learned to ALWAYS return my secretary's calls (even if I can't work the job), and say hello and goodbye to her when I am entering or leaving the school. And guess what, yesterday she left a message that said "Hey cutie! I just had a teacher leave sick, would you come in? I will even pay you for the full day!" Boom!
5. Memorize some filler activities/games. In a normal classroom if there is a little wiggle room after the lesson is over, you might just allow your students to complete an assignment or chat amongst themselves for 5 minutes. As a sub, I have found that this is the WORST idea. I have memorized some dorky little games like "do as I do, not as I say", "The ABC game", "heads up seven up" and other little time fillers. Even the older kids think its fun and it keeps the kids from running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
6. Create a list of things you WISH you had for students to do during free time. "I wish I brought my US State Capitals Flashcards" I thought as I subbed Social Studies yesterday. Just another thing to throw in my sub bag!
7. Radiate love and happiness. I had once heard that, as a sub, you shouldn't try to be liked at all. You should be firm, consistent, and sternly manage the classroom. While I think part of this is true, I just cannot bear to act like these kids do not matter or plan to make NO personal connection with them. While clear consistency should be established, I want both students and staff to feel like I am warm, approachable, and caring. When I recently subbed as a PE teacher for an elementary school, one third grade class walked in the door and they all shouted in their little voices "You look like you are really nice!" and came up and hugged me. I want to be the teacher these little ones think I am! They deserve to come to have a "nice", fair, and caring teacher.
8. Find ways to be true to who you are. Another piece of advice I have heard before was to use whatever discipline techniques the regular teacher uses. While I always stick to school policy, it's the little things that seem more difficult. I have found myself more out-of-sync with the discipline style of male teachers... I think it has more to do with the fact that while they think their techniques are just normal classroom management, their booming voices and larger frames throw intimidation into the mix. I don't believe that I, especially given the point made just above, will ever really intimidate a student. Instead I have chosen to give trouble students a chance to "cool off" (6-12 grade terminology) or "go to time out" (K-5) away from their peers. This usually isolates the problem, but I am still learning here too.
9. Let it go. Enjoy each moment, look for the humor in the absurd, and just LET IT GO!

Sometimes Blessings Include Sorrow

This morning on my daily commute to the middle school, I was listening to the Dave Ramsey show (as I typically do) and I heard something that just completely through me off. Dave was counseling with one of his callers who was doing his debt free scream, but in the process, Dave had practically scolded this man who had lost money on a job venture yet said he believed it was the will of God. Dave then said that we can all know that it wasn't the will of God, because there was "sorrow in it" (referring to Proverbs 10:22). While I love Dave for his financial wisdom, I certainly do not follow all his religions opinions, and this was one of them.

God's plan, and even God's direct blessings, sometimes make us sorrowful. In fact, some of my life's greatest trials have, in retrospect, been great blessings. And is there not sorrow in the pains of childbirth? Or when we leave friends to move somewhere new? When we break of with boyfriends? Quit terrible jobs? Aren't there newlyweds who cry as they look at their empty cupboards? Or families who solemnly look at their bank accounts after paying tithing or giving to others?

Sadness is, in fact, a staple of mortality. How sad it would be to constantly reject the blessings of the Lord for the fact that we sense parts of it might make us sad, or even hurt us emotionally or financially. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." Wouldn't it just be terrible if God's plan for our lives was limited by the fear and sadness we find in change and discomfort? We know that "the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been since the fall of Adam." We cannot possibly achieve all the blessings of eternal life without "putting off the natural man", which includes getting out of the comfort zone of mortality.

How many apostles and prophets have been martyred on behalf of Jesus's name or his teachings? Isn't it just foolish to believe that there was "no sorrow" in that calling from God?

The real kicker is that Christ's atonement makes right any wrongs we had in this life. That our most sacred and important blessing has truly "made us rich" and removed all sorrow from exaltation. As Jesus himself said, "in this world, he shall have great tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world." And as you look to God, even in these times of trial, and "endure it well" God will "exalt thee on high."

Quite simply, if God's plan only brought happiness on earth, it would require no faith. But this life is a test. Some burdens will be hard to bear, some plans will end in tears, and sometimes we may ask God why he allows us to feel such sorrow. Yet, we chose this existence in earth because we were promised that God would strengthen us, teach us, and help us grow. We were not sent to our lives here on earth to hide ourselves in the corner for fear of stubbing our toe! It is our duty as His children to enjoy and explore our home on earth, and rely on Christ's atonement for all the inequalities we experience. As we live righteously, God will "direct our paths", and lead us through all sorts of experiences. And further, as we choose wisely and grow toward God, one day we will be reunited with him in a kingdom of everlasting happiness and joy.

#sorrynotsorry Dave Ramsey!

Saturday Housewife

Now that my edTPA is done, I have got to spend my free time doing weird homemaker things I never thought I would be good at but I love! :)

Canning:

This is a few weeks old by now, but I just had to share. Never thought I would ever do anything so home-made! I always remember canning being like....an old person thing? But it is actually pretty fun! We have made tons of tasty things now that may or may not be coming to a kitchen near you ;)

Cooking in Bulk:

Derek and I recently came to the possession of about a million pounds of potatoes. So I took advantage of our time and froze some potato chunks, hashbrowns, and mashed potatoes. I also made about two dozen baked potatoes that I was going to make twice baked potatoes with, but I was a little tired after over an hour on my feet so I will have to come back to that in a bit. Here is our potato pile!

Making Laundry detergent:

For this one I paired up with my awesome friend Brianne,  and we each made our laundry detergent using the recipe from Coupon Closet! I thought it would be hard, messy, and kind of like I hippie thing to do...but I was intrigued by the fact that about $20 of laundry detergent could last the entire year. It is a super concentrated formula so you only need about 1-2 TBS every load.

We were able to find all the supplied we needed at our local Walmart, and we got to work. Now, since I always have to be contrary, I used pink Zote instead of the fels-natha. I guess I had been looking at so many different recipes, I didn't use the amount of oxi-clean it called for (I only used 1.5 pounds...which I swear I read somewhere...oh well!). Brianne and I want to compare our laundry detergent after we get the chance to really test it to see if any of these changes really made a difference. 

Oh and P.S., this project was EASY. Probably took about 30-40 minutes, and over half that time was spent grating the bar of soap! Definitely willing to do this again. 

Arranging the china cabinet: 

Can we just bask in this Christmasy glory? Perfect for the winter season! Looking at my china makes me feel very spoiled and rich (I am only one of those things, but I appreciate feeling like both). Seasons greetings, and Merry Christmas!

Memoirs of a Student Teacher

Only a few weeks into student teaching and I am already having a few thoughts jumble up in my head. Which usually means I need to express them. So, whether you are currently a student teacher, might someday be a student teacher, or have no desire to ever come near student teaching (which is the wisest choice), I think we can all take a little away from the following:

1. Have an ally
Throughout the education program, we talk a lot about being an ally to our peers and our students. While that is all well and good, I think there is a lot more to be said about having an ally. Student teaching is stressful. Not only are you emotionally invested in every kid who walks through the door (which is like having your heart walk around the classroom vulnerably....NOT easy), but you are constantly critiqued on how those relationships pan out and how well you are setting these kids up for success. People pleasers of the world: this will be your living nightmare.

Allow yourself to trust a few people outside of school that you can just dish to. You can complain about your lesson, your students, or your evaluations in absolute confidence that they will support you and help you. For me, my main allies are my family members, my professor, and my student teaching cohorts. They keep me sane

2. Allow yourself to love what you do
Almost every teacher I have talked to has offered a warning about being too invested in the kids, and seem to almost constantly berate the teaching profession. They will try to convince you that paperwork is so exponential that it is impossible to teach, that students don't care, and that you can never really change the lives of your kids (uh, hello, ever seen Freedom Writers?!).

Despite the fact that you work with a whole bunch of people with sticks up their....lesson plans...YOU can LOVE what you do. While often time these joys will be expressed quietly (to avoid the inevitable scolding for when you find yourself swept up in the joy of teaching), find a way to enjoy what you do. You are too young and too motivated to be jaded just yet. Your positivity brings a heck of a lot of fun to the classroom. So let your heart ride the teaching roller-coaster.

3. Your joy is not dependent on the satisfaction of others
I had the strangest experience recently where I received positive feedback from an evaluation, got super excited about it, and then when we reconvened, this same person sort of knocked me down a few pegs. I have since tried to understand why this person would do that (were they afraid I was too confident? Did they reflect and realize I really am crappy? Huh?) I have decided that the best I can do is to acknowledge the feedback and move on.

There will be dozens of people in this world that will try to make you feel small or inadequate for not living up to their expectations. These people are not worth the time and energy to please! And while I do not believe this person was trying to hurt my feelings, I cannot allow his passing critiques to become my obsession. Instead [saying this to myself as well!], take what you can learn from and LEAVE the rest. Find joy in what you do, and do it well.


And while I may seem completely confident in my ability, inside my head I am TOTALLY not. From this I have learned that I need to be more careful to how I treat others. Even those who seem like they have it all put together need support and recognition.

XOXOX

Finding Our Callings

Excuse the lack of posts these past couple months, the Askham family has been "enjoying" several changes that have come our way recently!

After driving a 15 year-old-plus car as our ONLY car for about 5 months,  and saving and budgeting every penny carefully, Derek and I were finally able to move up in car!

For me, a 2004 Suzuki Aerio

And for Derek, a sporty little 2001 Mercury Cougar

This has been such a huge blessing for us. For my student teaching, I have to drive about 70 miles a day, so it is awesome to have a reliable car that I feel safe in during my commute. And for Derek, he finally has some wheels that are ALMOST as cool as he is :) With our new car purchases, we had to say goodbye to an old friend, my blue Pontiac Sunfire. My Dad was kind enough to sell it on Craigslist for us after we left the area, and it went to a good home! All in all, we came in under budget and we are both really proud of ourselves for the long hours we worked to get here!



This semester has already proved to be a busy one, as both Derek and I work to tie any loose ends on our degrees. Currently I am student teaching in a small middle school about an hour away from the University. It has been a challenge in many respects, but ironically, teaching has been the EASIEST part. The most stressful aspect has really been building relationships with so many people that are going to be the gatekeepers to my career! Sometimes I feel inadequate, but I am trying to remember I am just beginning a career. I have plenty of time to improve!

Derek still has a little over a year left on his degree, but he is also working hard on securing an internship for the Summer. In so doing, he keeps pretty busy studying, working on resumes, attending school, and also being our soul breadwinner for the semester. He is just rockin' it! Typically, we wake up around 6 am, we leave for school and work, we get home between 5 or 6, we eat, Derek goes to meetings or studies and I work on lesson plans, and by the time 9:30 rolls around, we head to bed. It seems like an impossible life, but Derek and I have both felt energetic and motivated, sustained by power we know must be from God.




Adding to our fun changes has been my recent call to be second counselor in our ward's Relief Society! I was really shocked (I even asked the new RS president when I first met her if she was sure she meant ME. She said she was! haha) but now that it is starting to sink in a little, I feel great peace in knowing that "Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." The ladies I get to work with are just SO awesome. We are still working to get things running smoothly, but I have no doubt that we will be able to unify and be a great power for good in our ward and community. 


As I have reflected on all of these changes as well as my emotions, I was surprised to find that I feel more motivated, enthusiastic, and energetic than before. While there are so many wonderful things going on that I feel I can attribute this too, "finding my calling" kept coming to mind. Though I know there will be stressful days ahead, I feel that we come alive when we are doing what God has called us to do. Whether its working hard with a spouse to get in control of finances, educating ourselves, serving in our church or community capacities, or following a lifetime's worth of promptings as we start new careers, I believe God blesses us for those efforts. He says, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” While often times we hear this scripture and think to "come to Him" through prayer and sacrifice, I am finding that we "come to Him" much faster on our feet serving than we do on our knees (which is good because if I get down on my knees to say a prayer I will probably fall asleep!). 

I am really excited to be able to see these blessings in my life and I am thrilled to serve others and build some character :)

In conclusion, I thought I would share a little message! Over a year ago, I had a professor tell us to write little notes to ourselves in the future. I don't actually remember too much about writing it, but I remember I wanted it to be something encouraging to read when I started student teaching. This week, I got my little letter in the mail and it made me so happy! Although I directed it to myself at the time, I feel it is something that can apply to all of us in some respect. I am posting a small excerpt below...So read, and enjoy!

        "...The best example of teaching I will ever have is Christ. His love, patience, and encouragement is the way to help others. You may be working furiously on your edTPA right now, but remember there is always more to life than paperwork. Having the example is the key! 
        There is a deeper purpose than a grade, a certification, or a job. The greatest thing I will ever do in life will be my opportunity to bring beautiful children into this world with my husband. Second to that only, is to help raise other children. With the latter, my goal goes beyond content or standards or state testing. My goal is to bring light and love into the world. Never be afraid to show love. Even if some are failing in content, through love they will know that they are not failing this life. Love, patience, and encouragement always.
         You are blessed more than you know....You can do anything. So go and TEACH!"

Act Upon This Land as for Years

It has been a rough go health-wise (I feel like this is always the story....) for the past few weeks. My doctor has restricted a lot from my diet in an effort to help, but in general my mood has been pretty sour. I feel sad, lethargic, and up until the past few days, really depressed. I feel a lot more sick when I am depressed. Haven't eaten anything yet today but my stomach is still giving me grief. Student teaching is starting. And at one of the most physically challenging times in my life, I am preparing to spend a majority of my time and effort away from my sweet husband. So the refiner's fire is hitting me pretty hard this week. I don't know how I will possibly do it, and I am dreaming of happier times ahead, away from Pullman-- a place I have associated with feeling "stuck". I don't think I have ever experienced a stronger feeling of negativity attached to any one place before, but for some reason my emotions have convinced the rest of me that this is a place I loathe. I feel like a pre-teen that still has training wheels on my bike, lonesomely circling around a cul-de-sac until dinner time. (so in other words, I guess I feel like a loser?)

I want desperately to have people to talk to, but most days I am not feeling too good. And even when I do feel good, it seems every activity I want to go to has food everywhere (and I am trying to put on a brave face but it is really hard not to eat 90% of what you guys eat!). I have been extremely grateful for all the loving ward members who have stopped by just to say hello. I am trying to stay positive. Even though I am a lot weaker than I was a few months ago, the gym is my solace and it helps straighten everything out in my mind. I am remembering the words spoken by almost every seminary teacher ever-- "The scriptures say 'and it came to pass' not 'and it came to stay', so keep going!" 

*refreshing breath in* *refreshing breath out*

Anyways, that is my place today. An article I read in the Ensign (and LDS magazine geared towards adults) keeps coming to mind, so I figured I would share the love:

"In the Spring of 1831, the [early Latter Day] Saints began to gather to Kirtland, Ohio. A member...agreed to allow a group from Colesville, New York, to stay on his from in Thompson, a short distance from Kirtland." Joseph Smith, the prophet and leader of the church wrote the following revelation from God:

"And I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise, and command them to go hence.... And the hour and the day is not given unto them [when I shall provide for them otherwise], wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good" Doctrine and Covenants 51:16-17

So, like the children of Israel who wandered for 40 years, and the early Saints on the Copley farm, we too know that where we are now (geographically, emotionally, and spiritually) is not our final destination. But God doesn't say, don't worry about your choices and your actions because this is only a little bit of your life, he says "go and do something today!"


We are counseled to act upon this land as for years. Live our lives and conduct our homes in a state of permanence. Be open to the Lord's call when he asks you to move and change, but be just as open when he asks you to stay. For Derek and I this means trying harder to meet new people and make friends (this has been our biggest challenge in our ward here), serve in callings diligently, find pleasure in the work we do, find activities that we enjoy in Pullman instead of thinking of all the activities we WISH we could do.

The early Saints only ended up living on the Copley farm for very long. Shortly after getting all settled, Copley broke his promise, sending the Saints to Missouri. But "they did their best while they lived in that farmer's field, and the Lord blessed them for it." Pullman isn't our forever, but our choices here dictate the blessings we will receive throughout our lives. Praying for lots of peace and physical strength!

Regrets From the Single Years

As my parents can attest, I have always been excited to get on to the next phase of life. I crave change and development, and I have always had the most difficulty accepting a LACK of change. Not only is it boring, but it makes me feel like I am not progressing. As I have tried to get better at it, I swing between wishing everything would change all of a sudden to wishing nothing would ever change and Derek and I could perpetually live as newlyweds forever and ever (which isn't that healthy either...I am aware of this).

Lest my eagerness seems without consequences, I present to you my regrets from the single years!

1. Girly Girly Girly. There is nothing like cozying up in a nice bright pink flower comforter. No joke. One of my biggest regrets of pre-married life was that I didn't make every piece of my decor just absolutely and undoubtedly feminine. And even though Derek insists he would be fine with it if I went femi-crazy on our decor, I know that A. His guy friends would make fun of him for it when they came over (because I guess having a boring bachelor pad and no one to share your bed with at night is more fun?!) or B. a constant feeling of guilt that I have surrounded my manly man with the pinkest of hues.

So single ladies, do me a favor, and go buy this bed spread:

Get everything from this Walmart ad:

And bask in the glory of your girly-a-fied space.

2. Being More Social. While I have always been a social butterfly, there were certainly people I avoided because I felt weird starting conversations if I didn't know them. It has been really hard for Derek and I to make any friends here, so I am really wishing I would have spent more of my time with others when I really had the chance. Here's to hoping that the next place we move to will be more friendly. But in the mean time, singles: go hang out and just be goofy. Meet new people and have fun.

3. Find something you love and embrace it completely, even if you suck. It wasn't until I got to college that I found that I actually loved fitness. And while sometimes I am more in-shape than others (like right now I am pretty much just in-shape for a doughnut competition) I still love the challenge and have fun running, doing stadium stairs, yoga, and hiking. Growing up I had seen people be so good sports, I felt like there was no way I could ever be good at something like that, so I never even tried. The same applies to art, writing, cooking, and getting an education. Try EVERYTHING. You may hate a lot of it, you may be bad at a lot of it, but you may also be surprised with how alive it makes you feel!

My First Marathon!

Inferno Challenge (a really hard workout...)

Junior Year: 180+ pages of writing

100% On my history final!

Derek and I painted this!

And I painted this!

I cooked my first turkey!!!

I graduated college...WITH HONORS! :D

You may be surprised where all this takes you...

Enjoy the life you are living! Go out and have fun! xoxo

What We Learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other in 365 Days

People always say that "the first year is the hardest"....I don't think there is any possible way that could actually be true, because we basically skipped effortlessly through each month of marriage. Some of our hardest moments were more about us getting used to each other emotionally, but we are both pretty forgiving people, and luckily neither of us has the energy or interest to hold any sort of grudge...so those moments were few and far between, especially after the second or third month. As a matter of fact, after celebrating our anniversary this weekend, I got to thinking "could I have learned anything in these last 12 months?"

After some reflection here are our lists of things we have learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other.

Derek's List:
1. Anytime is chocolate time

2. Arianne has an eye for interior design and crafting

3. I've seen a much greater measure of Arianne's character. Arianne is consistently sacrificing her needs for others and always is looking to help others.

4. Foot rubs are almost next to chocolate in basic needs.

5. Life is not just to be enjoyed but to be shared with others.

6. My wife is an amazing cook.

7. Arianne is quickly forgiving.

8. An ounce of prevention in communication saves a pound of hurt

9. When we take time to budget finances, life is so much less stressful.

10. Change your tax status early.

11. A hug and a kiss can go a long way after a rough day.


Arianne's List (Naturally mine is much more loquacious. Roll with me here.):
1. Relying on the Lord's blessings is much easier than relying on your own strength and intelligence.

2. The Lord blesses us for the sacrifices we make.

3. Waking up on a Saturday morning next to my sweetheart will forever be the best thing on earth.

4. Derek is extremely thoughtful and introspective, while I am extremely spontaneous and busy. Sometimes it can be frustrating when we are both being stubborn, but when we let go a little and try to have thoughtful moments AND spontaneous moments, we both have a lot of fun.

5. Derek is the best person on the planet to go through anything with ever. Funny. Smart. Hardworking. Creative. This man is the bomb.

6. Derek is hardworking, grounded, and ambitious, while also being a big dreamer. I feel like it is so easy to get lost in that 9-5 ambition that we forget to dream about who we want to be, where we want to live, where we could visit, etc. With Derek, though, this mix is completely natural. He works hard for us all day but is never too exhausted to speculate on where life could take us.

7. Life is so much more fun when you allow yourself to believe that you are awesome!

8. Allow your spouse to pursue their ideas: I feel like I put the kibosh on a lot of Derek's ideas, and after a year of marriage I think that is one of my biggest regrets. Will I actually let him fill the basement of our future home with racks of servers? Probably not (sorry hunny), but I think it's important to let each other dream about things without crushing each other with reality. We have enough time for life to crush our dreams! hahah

9. Sometimes you just need a snuggle!

10. It is important to spend time alone: Personal development is just as important as an adult as it is when you are a teenager. As awesome as it is to spend 100% of your time with someone you love, it is equally important to devote some time to "center" yourself through spiritual study, prayer, and introspection....otherwise you don't have time to set goals or think about where you want to be in 5 or 10 years.


We've had so much fun this past year. Sending a huge thank you to all of our friends and family who made our wedding possible. We are grateful for your continued support throughout our marriage! Lots-a-love to you :)

Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice

It has been a couple weeks months since I last wrote. Despite my desire to keep a record of our life together, I just have had trouble making it a priority when I have so much going on! So here's a little update for you all!

The Sugar:
-Derek got a new job (in addition to his current job) as an IT manager for some condos here in Pullman. He is such a hard worker and is looking forward to his first day!

-Derek and I paid off our first student loan: 4,371.46 dollars! We are so excited! We are doing the Dave Ramsey plan and we are loving it. Technically, the plan calls for us to pay off our smallest loan first, but we both felt very impressed that this was the one we needed to get rid of. Not only did it have the worst interest rate, it was our largest, and it was also the only one my Dad had cosigned on. I have some more ideas about the loan, but I figured I would save those for another post so we could all get on with our lives ;)

-Honor Cords, Caps, and Gowns OH MY! I graduate in 22 days! Hard to believe that in just 3 weeks I will be walking at my college graduation! Those years go by so fast. They weren't always fun but I did make an effort to work really hard. I have student teaching in the fall at a local middle school, and then I am all certified to begin teaching and substituting! I am graduating with a 3.68 Cum Laude honors, in addition to my Outstanding Senior Award from the history department and my Phi Beta Kappa honor cords. So weird to think this part of my life will soon be over (but at the same time I am so grateful it will be! It's can be really hard!!!)

-We have a nephew!!! Or more importantly, my wonderful sister Hillary and her husband Nick had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. On April 14, 2014, Daniel Pulsipher Steckler came in to the world at 7lbs 3oz, and 19 1/4 inches long. His mommy says that he is "very strong, alert, and loves to check out his surroundings wherever he goes." We are very excited to meet the little guy, but unfortunately we may not be able to for a little bit. For right now, we are enjoying looking at pictures of our sweet little baby.

The Spice:

-A little low on the Vitamin D. Always a rough world for me, particularly in the winter. I hate feeling agitated, tired and depressed, but when my Vit D is low, that's pretty much all I feel. I had a really bad week in early April, but I have been doing fairly well since I increased my Vit. D. dosage. So far I have only had one other rough spot. I hate thinking this is something I will live with for the rest of my life, but I am encouraged by the fact that soon I won't have to live in Pullman. Or Washington for that matter. I always enjoyed sunny days, but I have a greater appreciation for them now more than ever! My dream would be to move to southern Utah or Nevada to get some much needed sunshine. The summer here will do me good, but I am in need of sunshine 365 days of the year! :)

-Saying goodbye to an old friend. In March, we said farewell to our old friend, the Jeep. Derek had inherited a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee from his father. We had so many great memories in that car and it was so hard to say goodbye! Unfortunately, there were a lot of issues with the car and repairs to be made so it was smarter financially to sell it at a decent price to someone who thought it was worth all of that! Initially we were going to buy Derek a newer car almost immediately, but sharing a car wasn't at all as hard as we thought. We decided to put a majority of that money towards the loan and continue to save. We are planning on getting another car in July.

Everything Nice:

-Love my husband even more! Saturday is our 9 month anniversary! I can't believe this year is going by so quickly! We just have so much fun together. It was actually pretty exciting because these past few weeks we have made our first BIG decisions together. Selling the car, and paying off the loan. As fun as it is to reach my own goals, it is a million times more fun to work together with someone else I love so much. Making those decisions together has actually given me a lot more confidence to make more big decisions together over the years. Everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I don't think there is any way I could possibly agree with that. Derek and I have been blessed beyond belief and we just have a blast together! He is my everything!


Thanks for reading!