Act Upon This Land as for Years

It has been a rough go health-wise (I feel like this is always the story....) for the past few weeks. My doctor has restricted a lot from my diet in an effort to help, but in general my mood has been pretty sour. I feel sad, lethargic, and up until the past few days, really depressed. I feel a lot more sick when I am depressed. Haven't eaten anything yet today but my stomach is still giving me grief. Student teaching is starting. And at one of the most physically challenging times in my life, I am preparing to spend a majority of my time and effort away from my sweet husband. So the refiner's fire is hitting me pretty hard this week. I don't know how I will possibly do it, and I am dreaming of happier times ahead, away from Pullman-- a place I have associated with feeling "stuck". I don't think I have ever experienced a stronger feeling of negativity attached to any one place before, but for some reason my emotions have convinced the rest of me that this is a place I loathe. I feel like a pre-teen that still has training wheels on my bike, lonesomely circling around a cul-de-sac until dinner time. (so in other words, I guess I feel like a loser?)

I want desperately to have people to talk to, but most days I am not feeling too good. And even when I do feel good, it seems every activity I want to go to has food everywhere (and I am trying to put on a brave face but it is really hard not to eat 90% of what you guys eat!). I have been extremely grateful for all the loving ward members who have stopped by just to say hello. I am trying to stay positive. Even though I am a lot weaker than I was a few months ago, the gym is my solace and it helps straighten everything out in my mind. I am remembering the words spoken by almost every seminary teacher ever-- "The scriptures say 'and it came to pass' not 'and it came to stay', so keep going!" 

*refreshing breath in* *refreshing breath out*

Anyways, that is my place today. An article I read in the Ensign (and LDS magazine geared towards adults) keeps coming to mind, so I figured I would share the love:

"In the Spring of 1831, the [early Latter Day] Saints began to gather to Kirtland, Ohio. A member...agreed to allow a group from Colesville, New York, to stay on his from in Thompson, a short distance from Kirtland." Joseph Smith, the prophet and leader of the church wrote the following revelation from God:

"And I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise, and command them to go hence.... And the hour and the day is not given unto them [when I shall provide for them otherwise], wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good" Doctrine and Covenants 51:16-17

So, like the children of Israel who wandered for 40 years, and the early Saints on the Copley farm, we too know that where we are now (geographically, emotionally, and spiritually) is not our final destination. But God doesn't say, don't worry about your choices and your actions because this is only a little bit of your life, he says "go and do something today!"


We are counseled to act upon this land as for years. Live our lives and conduct our homes in a state of permanence. Be open to the Lord's call when he asks you to move and change, but be just as open when he asks you to stay. For Derek and I this means trying harder to meet new people and make friends (this has been our biggest challenge in our ward here), serve in callings diligently, find pleasure in the work we do, find activities that we enjoy in Pullman instead of thinking of all the activities we WISH we could do.

The early Saints only ended up living on the Copley farm for very long. Shortly after getting all settled, Copley broke his promise, sending the Saints to Missouri. But "they did their best while they lived in that farmer's field, and the Lord blessed them for it." Pullman isn't our forever, but our choices here dictate the blessings we will receive throughout our lives. Praying for lots of peace and physical strength!