Regrets From the Single Years

As my parents can attest, I have always been excited to get on to the next phase of life. I crave change and development, and I have always had the most difficulty accepting a LACK of change. Not only is it boring, but it makes me feel like I am not progressing. As I have tried to get better at it, I swing between wishing everything would change all of a sudden to wishing nothing would ever change and Derek and I could perpetually live as newlyweds forever and ever (which isn't that healthy either...I am aware of this).

Lest my eagerness seems without consequences, I present to you my regrets from the single years!

1. Girly Girly Girly. There is nothing like cozying up in a nice bright pink flower comforter. No joke. One of my biggest regrets of pre-married life was that I didn't make every piece of my decor just absolutely and undoubtedly feminine. And even though Derek insists he would be fine with it if I went femi-crazy on our decor, I know that A. His guy friends would make fun of him for it when they came over (because I guess having a boring bachelor pad and no one to share your bed with at night is more fun?!) or B. a constant feeling of guilt that I have surrounded my manly man with the pinkest of hues.

So single ladies, do me a favor, and go buy this bed spread:

Get everything from this Walmart ad:

And bask in the glory of your girly-a-fied space.

2. Being More Social. While I have always been a social butterfly, there were certainly people I avoided because I felt weird starting conversations if I didn't know them. It has been really hard for Derek and I to make any friends here, so I am really wishing I would have spent more of my time with others when I really had the chance. Here's to hoping that the next place we move to will be more friendly. But in the mean time, singles: go hang out and just be goofy. Meet new people and have fun.

3. Find something you love and embrace it completely, even if you suck. It wasn't until I got to college that I found that I actually loved fitness. And while sometimes I am more in-shape than others (like right now I am pretty much just in-shape for a doughnut competition) I still love the challenge and have fun running, doing stadium stairs, yoga, and hiking. Growing up I had seen people be so good sports, I felt like there was no way I could ever be good at something like that, so I never even tried. The same applies to art, writing, cooking, and getting an education. Try EVERYTHING. You may hate a lot of it, you may be bad at a lot of it, but you may also be surprised with how alive it makes you feel!

My First Marathon!

Inferno Challenge (a really hard workout...)

Junior Year: 180+ pages of writing

100% On my history final!

Derek and I painted this!

And I painted this!

I cooked my first turkey!!!

I graduated college...WITH HONORS! :D

You may be surprised where all this takes you...

Enjoy the life you are living! Go out and have fun! xoxo

Marriages are Permanent and Precious

Firstly, I hope you guys enjoy our recent blogger face-lift! I think this one will be better for mobile users, but let us know :)

I've been thinking a lot about marriage recently, given our recent anniversary as well as several recent couples' engagements. How strange is it that many of us (particularly within the LDS church) make the most important decision of our earthly life (and entire eternity) before we can legally drink, purchase a hotel room without getting the third degree, or rent a car without that huge fee.

Perhaps that juxtaposition comes from the fact that we are trying to take God's path in an a society touting an ever-extending period of adolescence. Yet it also suggests that God's plan was never for marriage to be the end-all-be-all of life on earth. In fact, marriage is the beginning. Marriage is the tree we plant that will bring forth all other experiences: careers, children, education, travel, and all the trials in between. While marriage and family life remains the highest of God's commandments and callings, it is the foundation of almost everything we will do in our lives.

How important it is, then, to choose a partner who will help us bring about good, help us experience joy, and help us experience completeness; being ever mindful that Satan has his counterfeit to each of these emotions. Although "all you need is love" is a cheery song to sing in the depths of newlywed poverty, it is always important to understand that the healthiest of marriages will always require more than love and affection. Humility, hard-work, mutual understanding, and a spiritual foundation keep marriages progressing.

Marriage should always be viewed as "permanent and precious". The greatest joys in this life are to be experienced hand-in-hand with another.

What We Learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other in 365 Days

People always say that "the first year is the hardest"....I don't think there is any possible way that could actually be true, because we basically skipped effortlessly through each month of marriage. Some of our hardest moments were more about us getting used to each other emotionally, but we are both pretty forgiving people, and luckily neither of us has the energy or interest to hold any sort of grudge...so those moments were few and far between, especially after the second or third month. As a matter of fact, after celebrating our anniversary this weekend, I got to thinking "could I have learned anything in these last 12 months?"

After some reflection here are our lists of things we have learned about Life, Marriage, and Each Other.

Derek's List:
1. Anytime is chocolate time

2. Arianne has an eye for interior design and crafting

3. I've seen a much greater measure of Arianne's character. Arianne is consistently sacrificing her needs for others and always is looking to help others.

4. Foot rubs are almost next to chocolate in basic needs.

5. Life is not just to be enjoyed but to be shared with others.

6. My wife is an amazing cook.

7. Arianne is quickly forgiving.

8. An ounce of prevention in communication saves a pound of hurt

9. When we take time to budget finances, life is so much less stressful.

10. Change your tax status early.

11. A hug and a kiss can go a long way after a rough day.


Arianne's List (Naturally mine is much more loquacious. Roll with me here.):
1. Relying on the Lord's blessings is much easier than relying on your own strength and intelligence.

2. The Lord blesses us for the sacrifices we make.

3. Waking up on a Saturday morning next to my sweetheart will forever be the best thing on earth.

4. Derek is extremely thoughtful and introspective, while I am extremely spontaneous and busy. Sometimes it can be frustrating when we are both being stubborn, but when we let go a little and try to have thoughtful moments AND spontaneous moments, we both have a lot of fun.

5. Derek is the best person on the planet to go through anything with ever. Funny. Smart. Hardworking. Creative. This man is the bomb.

6. Derek is hardworking, grounded, and ambitious, while also being a big dreamer. I feel like it is so easy to get lost in that 9-5 ambition that we forget to dream about who we want to be, where we want to live, where we could visit, etc. With Derek, though, this mix is completely natural. He works hard for us all day but is never too exhausted to speculate on where life could take us.

7. Life is so much more fun when you allow yourself to believe that you are awesome!

8. Allow your spouse to pursue their ideas: I feel like I put the kibosh on a lot of Derek's ideas, and after a year of marriage I think that is one of my biggest regrets. Will I actually let him fill the basement of our future home with racks of servers? Probably not (sorry hunny), but I think it's important to let each other dream about things without crushing each other with reality. We have enough time for life to crush our dreams! hahah

9. Sometimes you just need a snuggle!

10. It is important to spend time alone: Personal development is just as important as an adult as it is when you are a teenager. As awesome as it is to spend 100% of your time with someone you love, it is equally important to devote some time to "center" yourself through spiritual study, prayer, and introspection....otherwise you don't have time to set goals or think about where you want to be in 5 or 10 years.


We've had so much fun this past year. Sending a huge thank you to all of our friends and family who made our wedding possible. We are grateful for your continued support throughout our marriage! Lots-a-love to you :)